Before the conversation
It's important to think about a few things before you have the first conversation with your future roommate. If you've had roommates before, you probably already know what you want and expect from a roommate. However, if it is the first time you're moving in with a roommate, you need to take some time to consider your own expectations and limits. To help get you started, be sure to read through my list of recommended questions at the end of this post
Be realistic from the beginning
It’s not always your best friend who will be your perfect roommate match. I think we’ve all tried to work in groups with our close friends while in school or at work and discovered those we have the most fun with aren’t always the ones we cooperate with in a different setting. You should see the cooperation with your new roommate in the same way. Of course, it’s important you aren’t too different from one another and that you have some shared interests to you can do things. You will do yourself a favor by being realistic from the beginning and not expecting your new best friend to enter the door when you meet your new roommate.
Know your own limits and expectations
Before you walk intro the conversation it is a good idea to adjust your expectations and limits in relation to how you think everything should precede. By doing so, you will know exactly what to ask him/her about and you will quickly know if you have the same priorities. Think about the topics that are listed below, which also are important topics to talk about.
During the conversation
Start off by telling your potential roomie a little bit about yourself, your apartment, and the available room. It is of course not a good idea to tell about all your expectations from the beginning, as it might be a little overwhelming for the other person. That said, it’s still important cover some of the more important topics (some of which you can find below!). It’s important to establish an equal relationship between the two of you from the start. Maybe they have some good ideas to how everything can work out if you were to live together. Try “putting yourself in their shoes” and think about what it must be like as the person sitting at the opposite side of the table.
- Habits (Parties, sleeping, music etc.)
- Expectations (Cleaning, visits from friends/boyfriends/girlfriends, smoking, sharing costs)
- Everyday life
10 of the most important questions to ask your potential roommate:
- Why are you looking for a roommate?
- Do you expect us to be best friends?
- What does your typical day consist of?
- Why are you not living with your previous roommate anymore?
- What are you looking for in a roommate?
- How long time are you planning on living in the room?
- What are your expectations to cleaning the apartment, washing the clothes and the dishes?
- How do you think we should split household chores between us?
- Do you think we should have any special rules for visits from friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, family? (Do you often have friends over?)
- Are you the type who needs a quite environment and some alone time or do you prefer to have people around the majority of the time?